Suicidality: Why We Fear It, and How That Stops People from Speaking Up.
The fear of what happens next is legitimate- but so is the relief from saying the hard things out loud to someone that won’t judge or take away your say in what happens next.
Download our Warmlines vs. Crisis Lines one-sheeter here.
September is Suicide Prevention (Awareness) Month. Some may not be familiar with the addition of “awareness” to the title, although not official, it's important. As we’ve mentioned before- how we define words and the meaning we attribute to them are extremely important. “Prevention” has an implication that someone was at fault- this has been noted to be very heavy on survivors. For this reason, we will honor the addition of “awareness” to the title.
Among other “taboo topics”, “suicide” is definitely up there on the list.
There’s a misconception that naming suicide will “put it in others’ heads”. Raising awareness, and speaking on something that is important and real does not equate to endorsing, being complacent, or denying the gravity of the topic.
But what does it mean to experience suicidal thoughts? Are you wrong or “weird” for ever entertaining thoughts that fall somewhere in that realm?
Suicidal thoughts can sometimes be referred to as suicidal ideations. Suicidal ideation can involve thoughts, feelings, and/or preoccupation with death or not wanting to live. There is a large range of what constitutes suicidal ideation and it can look different from person to person.
And- No. You are not wrong or “weird” if you have ever had any thoughts that fall within that spectrum. In fact, they are more common in the general population than people realize.
One of the reasons why this space (GTC) exists is to create a place where people can feel seen, heard, and validated in more than just a commonly therapeutic way- in a way that's genuine and real in everyday life. This is why we are saying the hard part out loud, in a blog post, for everyone to see.
The idea of high-functioning individuals can obscure what they may be experiencing beyond the face they show the world. To the people around them, a suicide death can appear “shocking” or “unexpected”, seemingly “out of nowhere”- but that perception doesn’t make it accurate. Sometimes high-functioning individuals become incredibly skilled at hiding (or masking) the issues that lay beneath the surface.
We see this assumption play out with those in the public eye as well. When someone who appeared to be successful, connected, or “set in life” dies by suicide people often respond with “they seemed fine”.
And this is precisely the point.
Someone can be functioning and still be suffering, be successful and still be struggling, look fine and not be ok.
It is uncomfortable to think about how many people in our lives and in our own circles may be suffering similarly, or even- how many times that person can be us ourselves.
One of the many reasons why people have a hard time acknowledging this is the fear of assumed repercussions for voicing concerns, or mere thoughts. There are times when reaching out to a helpline can result in emergency services being contacted (such as police or paramedics), and involuntary hospitalization can occur when someone is determined to be at imminent risk of harm to themselves or others.
However, before reaching that point, there are times when people may feel stressed, overwhelmed, or even scared about how intense everything is feeling inside.
The fear of assumed repercussions is enough to keep silent.
Over time, the situation can escalate to the point where the acuity may require a stronger response.
For the “high functioning” individual that has many people relying on them, this is simply not an option.
Another common fear about reaching out for support and having police contact- is that many individuals, especially those in vulnerable populations, may have a negative experience with police and/or hospitals. These populations include, but aren’t limited to, BIPOC individuals, LGBTQI+ folk, disabled people, justice-involved individuals, and people nervous about immigration status just to name a few.
For this reason, it’s important to know that warmlines exist. Warmlines are peer-led and exist for support right before, or during hard times. For people who are hesitant to seek crisis intervention, they can offer another avenue of connection and support. This is referred to as non-carceral care- support that does not risk police or hospital involvement- we will explore this topic in more depth in the future.
Whether you know someone that has struggled with feeling overwhelmed, suffering, or in pain- or if that person has been you specifically- you don’t have to know the right words to say to start.
The fear of what happens next is legitimate- but so is the relief from saying the hard things out loud to someone that won’t judge or take away your say in what happens next.
Awareness starts with knowing you have options and can find support in different places, if you don’t know where to look- we can help you get started.
We’ve created a resource sheet to help you explore these options further- we’ve included information on warmlines specific to the tri-state area as well as nationwide.
To learn more about therapy, ask questions, or find the support that's right for you, start here.
