Therapy for Therapists: Do Therapists Need Therapy?
What was I missing when it came to managing my stressors, especially if this is my own profession?
Gisella is the founder of GTC. She’s also a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and overly curious human when it comes to matters of life, thoughts, space, and the overall universe.
Download our informational guide 'Does Your Therapist Have a Therapist?' here.
This may come as a surprise to many of you that are not in the mental health field, but therapists are not generally mandated to be in therapy in order to become a licensed professional, or to maintain good standing with their licensures. Many programs encourage their future clinicians to seek support as necessary. And there are classes that are part of most curriculum which model what being a therapist and a client “is like” before you go out into the world to provide therapy!
Now this is not to scare you off- but more to bring light to something that is not universally known.
There are many paths that can lead to one becoming a therapist. One common path is when an individual wants to provide the help that they received in the past, they feel that this life-changing process is something they want to pay forward. For others, the path stemmed from wanting to better understand themselves, and those around them, from an early age. There are also significantly more options in between- but those two are very common ones that you’ll often find referenced by therapists.
Oftentimes, those that fall into the latter category have learned to overcome obstacles and persevere while being their own source of support.
Usually this works out great early in their life and while achieving their chosen therapy career goals. But what happens when they get further in that career journey and are now preaching something that they have not practiced themselves?
Therapists speak on self-care, burnout avoidance, and asking for help when you need it- but do they do this for themselves?
Many times, the answer is a resounding “no”.
Not because they do not believe in the message they’re delivering, or because they think they’re better than the therapy they provide- but because this was simply never a viable option. They’ve learned to become the source of support and help they always needed, but never had. I found myself to be a part of that group.
I remember, early in my career, a colleague of mine made a statement that stood with me for many years. I was working several shifts in the jails and finding myself overwhelmed with all my responsibilities (single mom at the time, newly retired parents, a mortgage that was solely on me). I asked her: how could I give others support if I was struggling myself? What was I missing when it came to managing my stressors, especially if this is my own profession? What was I not seeing?
Her response was “You know and understand that you have ears, but you can never actually look at them yourself. You need someone to look at them for you, or you need tools to take a picture, for example- but you cannot possibly just look at them yourself.” A simple metaphor that gave me a pass, allowing me to be human and trust that it really was ok to ask for assistance sometimes. Because no matter how amazing of an ear doctor I am, I can never look at them myself.
Motherhood was what ultimately motivated me to start my own therapy. It awakened a desire in me to be a better and healthier individual for my toddler. I wanted to demonstrate what taking care of yourself looked like even if I didn’t have a blueprint to follow, I was creating one from scratch. I quickly learned what a humbling experience it was to be on the other side. Searching for “the right” fit, wondering how to find someone that was “smarter” or “better” at understanding my problems than me- and I reminded myself that I can’t look at my own ears.
As therapists we often tell prospective clients that it’s ok to shop around before finding the “right” therapist, but in actuality it is difficult to move forward with any attempt. The excitement, and anxiety- of making your first appointment is surreal. You are filled with pride for taking that first step, and terrified of what this actually means.
I found that being in therapy allowed me the space and permission to explore things I did not allow myself the time for in the past. I found that I was doing a better job in more areas than I was giving myself credit for. I found that I was worthy of validation and acknowledgement. I felt great about practicing what I preached. It made me a better clinician because I understood something that no classroom could teach; I understand the hesitation to seek support, especially when you are used to being the helper- and I encourage you to face that reluctance and know that you are not alone.
I created GTC with all of this in mind, to create a sanctuary for those that are constantly giving and have a hard time allowing themselves to receive. Because the people who spend their lives holding spaces for others deserve a space where they can be held too.
To learn more about therapy, ask questions, or find the support that's right for you, start here.
