Doesn’t being high-functioning mean I am fine?

You get the things done. You show up. You are reliable, consistent - everything everyone needs… So are you fine?

Well… this is why I am big on “definitions” - there are two important things to define to truly understand that question. What does high-functioning mean? And what is “fine”?

High-functioning reminds me of the word “success”- another arbitrary word that we hear all the time and perhaps have some loose definition of, but don't usually take the time to sit down and fully define what that word means to us, or those we use it with. 

From societal standards and norms; high-functioning often means that you are paying your bills, finding a way to get food, you have a job of sorts, and somewhere to lay your head at night. Perhaps you also have a family- do you get along with them? That part does not matter… what matters is that they exist, and you can show up to a job, and you pay some bills. Congratulations- you are high-functioning! 

Now, to what degree? That varies greatly. Not all high-functioning is created equal. 

If you are high-functioning this might make you automatically assume you are “fine”. 

So let’s define “fine” 

Does it mean you wake up at some point every day? Perhaps not from a good night’s sleep, but you’re awake now - so you made it, at what cost? 

Perhaps you got that job you had been working towards, that promotion, climbing that career ladder- you are absolutely fine! Yet, sleep is harder to come by. All that working towards the next goal has led to constant anxiety, and being in constant “go” mode makes it difficult to get true rest. 

You hear people talk about “survival mode”, but that’s not you. You are fine. You are succeeding! 

But again… at what cost? 

Is the cost sleep? Health? Time with loved ones? Time with yourself? Is it a ceaseless exhaustion that doesn’t resolve? 

All the signs indicate that maybe there is more going on, but you are too busy being “fine” and “high-functioning” to pay them much attention. 

You get the things done. You show up. You are reliable, consistent-  everything everyone needs…

So are you fine?

Is being high-functioning sustainable? 

What kind of life do you envision and truly want for yourself?

These are not questions meant to place blame or shame on you, but to help bring clarity to where you might be. 

As a society we value being productive, but what does productivity truly mean? Is it sustainable? Or is it survival mode masked as high-functioning? 

Was the goal to remain in survival mode indefinitely, or to actually live at some point? 

You are not any less high-functioning, productive, successful, or worthy- if you get support before reaching crisis mode. 

You can acknowledge that something is not working without being functionally impaired. 

The first step is simply sitting with yourself, noticing, and naming where you actually are.

Once you are ready for the next conversation, we are here. 

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